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Postgraduate
Funding January 2004
I was lucky enough to do my first degree, as a mature student, just at the very end of the era when maintenance grants were the norm. I graduated in 1996 with a 2:1 in Design Arts, and not owing anybody a penny.
I had become very interested in textiles as an art form during my third year, and desperately wanted to carry on with a postgraduate degree in a textile related discipline. I was not in a position financially or personally (married), to apply to a London college, or to move to another part of the country.
To cut a long story short, I took out a Postgraduate Loan from the bank, and began a part time MA at a local college. Between my applying for a place and beginning the course, the course director had either left or been forced out. The course had been changed out of all recognition, and was so poorly run that by two years on, around 20 out of the 24 students who had begun at the same time as me, had left. I hung on out of some misplaced sense of loyalty - or desperation - until it transpired that I would literally be completing the course in a group of one, ie me!
I had run out of money, and needed to take a term out, (initially the course was publicised as one where students could take up to five years to complete), but was told that if I did this, my progression to MA could not be guaranteed. In other words, they were planning to close the course as quickly as possible, and wanted such students as were left, to complete and disappear in double quick time. My patience had run out. I put in an official complaint to their validating University, and after months of wrangling, eventually got about £400 back.
Later that year, I was offered two postgraduate places on design courses, both at very well respected universities. This went a little way towards restoring my battered ego, but having no money left I could not take up either place.
That was four years ago, six if you count the two wasted years on the course. My health deteriorated, I could not pay my loan instalments, I endured months of heated argument with the bank, and will be paying off the loan in small increments for many years. This has affected our ability to get a mortgage - although the case did not go to court - my confidence as an artist was just about destroyed, and I did not even get the Pg Cert from the college.
I had been 'allowed' to work in mixed media on the course, but 'textiles' was basically laughed at - possibly because they had no facilities or dedicated staff for the subject. Looking back, I should have been wary of this in the first place, but I did my best to incorporate my interests and skills into the work I produced. Also, postgraduate courses of any kind, let alone good ones, are not readily available in this area - with a very few notable exceptions. So it was a kind of 'Hobson's Choice'.
I am still fumbling around trying to make work. Yes it is true that having to sell work does stifle creativity to a large extent, but this is the real world. What is one to do? I can paint, I am a good photographer, I work a little with glass and ceramics, but my first love is textiles. I grab any exhibition opportunities that are affordable and reachable, but making money does not seem to really be an option. If I break even, it's a bonus.
My advice to anyone pursuing postgraduate study, is not only to be careful how you fund it, but be be very, very sure, as much as you can, that the course itself is well established and reputable. I would still like to do postgraduate work, but can't see it happening. I still have little confidence in my work, and although I'll never give up, I do find myself questioning my own judgement all the time - having made such a terrible choice and not being sure enough of myself to leave the course while I was still in one piece. Obviously age does not automatically bring wisdom with it!
Hopefully things like this don't happen too often, but any aspiring postgraduates out there - good luck, and be careful!
Sincerely
Lynsey Adams